Confusing.

Love. That subject you'll probaly hear a lot about. I am a young soul, battered throughtly but not uncapable of love. I care immensely about certain people. Currently there are two main ones I'd do anything for, but sometimes I wonder..more than the other? He makes me light, I haven't felt that in years. He makes me laugh with the stupid things he says, no matter how corny. He makes me smile with his scoffocating cuteness. I may sound stupid, but he gives a warm cuddly feeling that I've yearn so much for. But now, the one that gave me that the first time then left me is coming back into my life once I've found this new comfort. I'd rather die a thousand deaths if it made sure that neither of them could get hurt. And now with this torment of my heart, a once dear friend confessed I broke his heart. Am I that cruel? Do I have no soul? Maybe this is just the intense teenage dopamine talking. Like. Grr. Ha.. I keep pulling my hair out over this. These love songs that keep playing..why is your face keeps coming to mind when its suppose to be him? Right? To be honest I don't know anymore. I love them both, terribly, so much it phsyically causes me to drop to my knees in exhastion. My heart cannot take constant tearing. What am I suppose to think? You both tell me you love, you both say you won't leave. Except one has but he came back. The other just needs someone to love. I honestly don't think I'm good enough for anyone. I can't really make them happy, and when I try to hard I tend to mess it up, like the last relationship I had. I really did love him, I cared for him, but I wanted it to be so perfect I risked it all for selfish reasons and I loathe myself entirely for it. But now..I'm lost in this aspect to. There are books, magazines, articles, on love. But how much do they really help. How much can the scientific aspect intervene without the emotional? Can I make a logical choice? That I am certain I cannot make at the risk of losing either of them. Tell me. What am I to do? Maybe, I should just be alone. People wouldn't get hurt so much then from actions that I do.